I’m pretty sure that each and everyone of us can point to something that our parents did that we identified that we would never do.
I’d further postulate that there are a few of those things that we have subsequently done, although not all of them.
There are times that I’ve caught myself doing something or saying something that I’ve thought that is exactly what Dad would have done or said. I think I’ve been more conscious of this since he passed away, and I know I’ve certainly thought about things at times and asked myself WWDHD (What Would Dad Have Done), and also WWMHD.
I think some of this is natural ageing and reaching a certain point where I am no longer young by any stretch of the imagination and thinking of parents as the perennial older person, the way a child considers all adults over a certain age as “old”. I also wonder genetically what I might inherit from which parent in terms of latter day health. Certainly I’ll take my Mum’s eyesight and my Dad’s teeth, but to a certain degree some of this is already hardwired into my DNA.
Some is also learned by doing, because one parent or the other did something with you that means you’ve continued to do it. Certainly some hobbies are like this.
Of course not everyone is as lucky as I’ve been in having both parents around for all of my childhood and the majority of my life in total. It makes me wonder whether other adults leave the same imprint. Someone who’s brought up my a step parent or another member of their family? What about those who grow up in a care situation. Is there a defining period or length of time that’s required for this to happen?
Is the opposite also true are there things that no matter how hard you try you just can’t replicate the way a parent or similar did something. I think a lot of us would be able to point to practical things like cooking or handicrafts where we might be able to say that we’re just not as good as soandso. There’s also the contrary point of being very good at something and having no idea where we “inherited” it from, although in some cases this might be because someone spotted a talent early enough that they were able to encourage and nurture it even though they didn’t necessarily have any direct input. In this case I’m perhaps thinking of sports or acting.
Ultimately if I look back I’d have to say that I’m most like my Dad. There are facial similarities and certainly in terms of some of my mannerisms and traits, I can see we are a little alike. There are things that I can do that he could never master and vice-versa, but I think we’d both have a good try at most things. Sadly he’s not around for us to have some kind of head-to-head just to prove my point but I think if he were we’d have some pretty good complimentary skills too.
Thanks for reading.
From time to time I’ll notice myself moving like my mother or holding myself in the way my mother (in very physical way). A little unnerving actually! I always before thought I’m more like my dad and I think more like my dad but as I get older, I see the similarities to my mom just pop out in ways I never thought about.